August 2007

18 Hilarious Parenting Quotes

If there's one thing parents deserve, it's a good laugh every now and then.

These 18 hilarious parenting quotes are sure to crack smiles on the faces of moms and dads everywhere.


1. "A truly appreciative child will break, lose, spoil, or fondle to death any really successful gift within a matter of minutes." ~ Russell Lynes


2. "The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable." ~ Lane Olinhouse


3. "When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out." ~ Erma Bombeck


4. "Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope." ~ Bill Cosby


5. "You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance." ~ Franklin P. Jones


6. "Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own." ~ Doug Larson.


7. "A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm." ~ Bill Vaughan.


8. "In the little world in which children have their existence, whosoever brings them up, there is nothing so finely perceived and so finely felt as injustice." ~ Charles Dickens


9. "It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner." ~ Ben Bergor


10. "The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy." ~ Author Unknown


11. "Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we've set aside enough money to pay for our kids' therapy." ~ Michelle Pfeiffer


12. "The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet." ~ Bill Cosby


13. "Mothers are all slightly insane." ~ J.D. Salinger


14. "The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." ~ Calvin Trillin


15. "If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?" ~ Milton Berle


16. "Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare." ~ Ed Asner


17. "Parents are the bones on which children cut their teeth." ~ Peter Ustinov


18. "Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes." ~ Joyce Armor


By Noel Jameson


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