March 2010 e-Newsletter
How to Give Guidance
- Avoid answering too quickly. Ask questions. Nod your head. Wait until you get a nudge: “So what do you think?” If people have to work a little for your insight, they’ll value it all the more.
- Listen carefully to your advisee’s account of her situation and answer based on what she should do. When my daughter asked whether she should become an actress, I wasn’t sure I could be supportive. Then I remembered her love of the stage since she discovered it at age 8. “Go for it,” I said. She’s struggling but she loves it. And it’s her life after all.
Determine what the recipient really wants. Sometimes, it’s your sympathy or your perspective. My daughter didn’t need my wisdom; she wanted my approval. Instead of advice, in other words, what most people seek is your blessing.