2011 Summer eNewsletter

A Paraprosdokian

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is popular among comedians and satirists.  These “paraprosdokians” were forwarded to me from a friend.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.  (I have to remember this one)

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "In an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 51 for Miss America?

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine

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